Letter 126

Happiness isn’t talked about enough, and right now I’m feeling really happy, so I wanted to write about it. I want to write about finding the happiness in the stressful times, or finding the rainbow in a cloudy day.

Something crazy seems to be happening to me. Only a couple of days ago I was sat in the studio, working until 2am getting everything done before my review. This is typically the most stressful day in an architecture students life, but for this particular review, I didn’t feel stressed at all. I don’t know whether this is due to my good time management, confidence in my work or enjoyment in my project, but I felt really happy. My happiness was further elevated by the review going incredibly well and being personally praised by my tutors for my work, which of course feels great.

In the last 2 and a half years of university my emotions have been all over the place. I’ve had some unfortunate things happen in my life which have effected my happiness dramatically but I’ve also had very mixed feelings about my course. Sometimes I’ve completely hated it and felt like I could drop out. The stress has had me on the brink of tears more times than I can remember. I’ve been frustrated with people I’ve worked with and suffered bad reviews from tutors and felt like all the work was a waste. This semester everything seems different. I’ve now technically ‘stepped up’ a year as most of my year are on placement and I’m now in the year above. I was so nervous about this at the beginning of the semester, but 5 weeks on and I feel it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. The year is full of lovely, talented students and the atmosphere among everyone feels different somehow. I like it. I find myself enjoying my work and striving to do more just because I want to.

I feel happy.

I’ve just taken a 2 day break from work to give myself a rest after the review and I feel like I’ve recuperated and I’m ready to get back to it. I’ve spent some lovely quality time with my boyfriend, enjoying the beautiful wintery weather in Edinburgh, relaxing watching films and eating good food. Even the little things like doing washing and cleaning have made me feel happier and like my life is together. I’ve organised the week ahead in my diary which includes going home to see my mum and best friend which I’ve been very excited for. I plan to get lots of work done this week (which is a week off from university) and get ahead with everything.

The thought makes me even happier.

With every day I get closer to the end of my degree which is now just 11 weeks and 3 days away. Just 80 days until it’s over and I intend to work as hard as humanly possible to ensure I am happy with myself by the end of it. I want to leave university knowing I’ve done my absolute best and have a portfolio that I’m proud of.

Then I get to jet off and do the thing that makes me happiest which is travelling, and in about 5 weeks I intend to book some flights. That will definitely give me something to look forward to. I will definitely book a flight to Germany, probably making Berlin my first stop to see my friend, and then one back from either southern Germany or Austria. I’m then going to Greece with mum, which thankfully is already booked, and then heading off somewhere for a few days with my best friend (wherever we can find that’s cheap). It’s going to be a good summer, I can feel it (and that will literally just be May and June).

I just wanted to share my current state of happiness because I feel like people are quick to notice and write about when they are sad or stressed, but neglect to celebrate when they’re happy, even about small things.

Hope you’re all having a happy Monday and a good February.

Much Love,

From Lou

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